Sherlock Holmes (2009): Body Count Breakdown

Sherlock Holmes (2009): Body Count by Gregglop09

[CHARACTER KILLS]

Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr): 1
Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong): 2
Dredger (Robert Malliet): 2
Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams): 2
Dr. John Watson (Jude Law): 1
Professor Moriarty (Ed Tolputt): 1

[CORPSE BREAKDOWN]

Reodran’s Death: 1
Dredger breaks Reodran’s neck off-screen (his body is shown buried in a coffin)

Bathtub: 1
Blackwood drowns Sir Thomas

House Fight: 1
Sherlock shocks Dredger with a taser, launching him into the air, crushing 1 goon (Dredger is huge so, I’m counting it)

Standish’s Death: 1
Dredger’s gun trap sets Standish on fire, causing him to fall out a window to his death

Final Showdown: 4
Irene shoots 2 bad guys
Watson shoots 1 bad guy
Blackwood accidentally hangs himself while fighting Holmes

Moriarty’s Mark: 1
Moriarty shoots a Police Constable

[THE FINAL TALLY = 09]

The Tournament (2009): Body Count Breakdown

The Tournament (2009): Body Count by Gregglop09

[CHARACTER KILLS]

Miles Slade (Ian Somerholder): 13
Joshua Harlow (Ving Rhames): 12
Yuri Petrov (Scott Adkins): 10
Lai Lai Zhen (Kelly Hu): 4
Anton Bogart (Sebestien Foucan): 2
Father Joseph McAvoy (Robert Carlyle): 1

[CORPSE BREAKDOWN]

Opening/Blood Bath: 5
Harlow shoots Russian Hitman’s head off with a shotgun
Russian Hitman shoots 1 guy
3 dead bodies

Introducing The Contestants: 10
Petrov kills 10 people in video

Hotel Room: 1
Lai Lai shoots an assassin in the head

Rooftop: 2
Sniper Chick snipes an assassin in the head
Bogart snaps Sniper Chick’s neck

Church Fight: 1
Lai Lai blows up Petrov (literally!)

Parking Lot: 1
Harlow shoots Eddy in the back of the head

Dumpster: 1
Slade shoots a guy

Car Crash: 1

Lai Lai shoots a female assassin in the head

Alley: 1
Bogart snipes an assassin in the head

Strip Club: 16
Slade shot-guns 12 people
Harlow shoots 3 assassins
Harlow uses assassin as bullet shield and the assassins shoot him (shared kill)

Random Death Montage: 8
8 people killed

Gas Station: 1
Slade explodes from the planted bomb

Flashback: 1
Lai Lai shoots Harlow’s wife

Truck Chase: 2

Harlow runs down 1 assassin
Father McAvoy crushes/runs over Bogart

Church: 1
Harlow stabs Lai Lai

The Truth: 4
Harlow blows up Mr. Powers, himself and 2 guards with planted bomb inside Powers

[THE FINAL TALLY = 56]

Defiance (2008): Body Count Breakdown

Defiance (2008): Body Count by luvmetender009

[CHARACTER KILLS]

Zus Bielski (Liev Schreiber) – 24
Tuvia Bielski (Daniel Craig) – 21
Asael Bielski (Jamie Bell) – 2

[CORPSE BREAKDOWN]

WWII Stock Footage – 2
-2 Jews seen executed by Nazis

Family Farm – 5
-Corpse of Tuvia’s father and 4 Jews seen

All Together Now – 1
-1 elderly Jew dies from cold and starvation

Tuvia’s Vendetta – 3
-Tuvia kills 3 Jewish traitors with his newly-acquired pistol

Night Hunt – 11
-Zus kills 1 collaborator
-Other Jews executes 1 collaborator
-Jews shoots 1 Nazi
-Zus stabs 1 Nazi
-Zus stabs Nazi colonel and mistress, and 1 more Nazi near jeep
-Jews shoots 1 Nazi
-Asael shoots 1 Nazi
-Nazis shoots 1 Jew
-Tuvia shoots 1 Nazi

Barn – 1
-1 Jew’s corpse seen hung from rafters

“There are hundreds of us!!!” – 5
-Tuvia shoots 2 Nazis
-Other Jews shoots 3 Nazis, at least 1 by Zus

Railway Ambush – 19
-Zus shoots 4 Nazis
-Jews shoots 6 Nazis
-Nazis shoots 3 Jews
-Jews shoots 3 more Nazis
-Zus blows up 1 Nazi with a grenade
-Zus executes 2 Nazi sergeants

Outpost – 7

-Nazis shoots 1 Soviet
-Soviets shoots 2 Nazis
-Zus shoots 1 Nazi
-Nazi kills Bielski Otriad Commander
-Zus shoots 1 Nazi
-1 Nazi’s corpse seen behind a counter (most probably killed by Zus, but could be by other Soviets too, I didn’t add it to Zus’ tally)

Being a Leader – 1
-Tuvia executes 1 Jew who tried to leave

Payback – 1
-1 Nazi prisoner flogged to death by Jewish mob

Air Raid – 9
-9 Jews blown up by Nazi air raid

Standoff – 6
-Nazis shoots 1 Jew
-Asael shoots 1 Nazi
-Nazis kills 3 Jew
-1 Jew blown up by a Nazi’s grenade

Evacuating – 1

-Elder Jew succumbs to disease

The Final Battle – 60

-7 Jew’s corpses seen after first wave of Nazi fire
-Nazis shoots 2 Jews
-Nazi tank blows up 2 Jews
-Tuvia shoots 14 Nazis
-Issac shot by Nazis then blown up by his own grenade
-7 Nazis gunned down by Jew reinforcements, at least 1 kill which belongs to Zus
-Zus shoots 5 Nazis
-Jews shoots 7 Nazis
-Zus shoots Nazi commander on the tank, then throws in a grenade killing 4 more Nazis inside8
-Jews shoots 5 more Nazis
-5 Nazi corpses seen in aftermath

Epilogue – 1
-Asael is mentioned to have been killed**

[THE UNCONFIRMED AND UNCOUNTED]

-50 thousand Jews were mentioned to have been murdered and 1,000,000 more awaiting deportation in the film’s black-and-white opening sequence
-Thousands of dead Jews could be seen in a trench

*I did some research and found out that the tank used in the film’s climax is a Panzer III, which contains 5 occuppants including the commander on its top.
**Although his death is merely mentioned, Asael is still a key character of the film, I’m counting it.

[THE FINAL TALLY = 132]

The Invasion (2007): Body Count Breakdown

The Invasion (2007): Body Count by luvmetender009

[CHARACTER KILLS]

Carol Bennell (Nicole Kidman) – 12

[CORPSE BREAKDOWN]

Night After Conference – 1
-1 man dies out on streets after succumbing to viral infection

Tunnel -1
-1 woman run over by car

A visit to Yorish’s – 1
-Yorish succumbs to viral infection

Carol gets it too – 1
-A victim seen on a couch dead from infection

Subway – 4
-3 innocent people devoured by infected offscreen (I counted only the Afro couple, and the Caucasian woman who shouted, though there could be many more)
-Carol accidentally shoots 1 subway worker

Streets of Chaos – 2

-2 people commits suicide by jumping off a roof

Acquiring Transportation – 1
-Ben passes by 1 dead cop

Vision – 1
-Carol’s double kills herself with a hatchet-like weapon

Warehouse – 1
-Carol smash Tucker’s head

Mother’s Love knows no Limits – 5
-Carol shoots 5 infected to defend her son

Escape – 4
-Carol crash 1 infected into a pile of trash while driving*
-Carol drives Ben’s SUV into a lamppost, throwing 3 infected into a shop’s front *

*An impact like this would be enough to kill a person in real life, let alone in a movie.

[THE UNCONFIRMED AND UNCOUNTED]

-News and radio reports in the entire film frequently mentions of deaths, massacres and genocides
-Gene (the creepy little Asian boy) said that both his parents died from the infection, but we didn’t see them die, I’m not counting it.
-Carol smash an infected’s head with a fire extinguisher while in the elevator, but I don’t think he’d die.

[THE FINAL TALLY = 22]

L4yer Cake (2004): Body Count Breakdown

L4yer Cake (2004): Body Count by luvmetender009

[CHARACTER KILLS]

XXXX (Daniel Craig) – 2
Gene (Colm Meaney) – 1
Morty (George Harris) – 1
Crazy Larry (Jason Flemyng) – 1
Slasher (Sally Hawkins) – 1
Shanks (Stephen Walters) – 1

[CORPSE BREAKDOWN]

Warehouse Holdup – 1
-Slasher accidentally shoots a gardener

Workshop – 1
-Paul seen tortured and burnt to death by a hot iron

Cafeteria – 1
-Mortimer smash an associate’s face then boils him to death with a kettle of tea

Failure of a Deal – 1

-Duke’s corpse seen shot in the chest

Flashback – 1
-Kilburn Jerry shoots himself through the head

Mansion – 1

-XXXX kills Jimmy

Crazy Larry’s fate sealed -1
-Gene shoots Crazy Larry in the head

Park – 1
-Dragan snipes Lucky in the head

Docks – 1
-Slasher shot in her head by Gene’s colleague

Art of a Good Business – 1

-Eddie Temple’s severed head seen in an ice cooler (implied to be XXXX’s work through his self-monologue)

Man was a Prick – 1

-1 dead guy seen in car (implied to be killed by Shanks)

[THE UNCONFIRMED AND UNCOUNTED]

-XXXX was shot in the chest at point-blank range by Sydney at the end of the film, but he’s still alive and moving as the screen flash white and the credits roll.

[THE FINAL TALLY = 11]

Star Trek: First Contact (1996): Body Count Breakdown

Star Trek: First Contact (1996): Body Count by Rorschach94

[CHARACTER KILLS]

Lt. Commander Data (Brent Spiner): 28
Lt. Commander Worf (Michael Dorn): 9
Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart): 4
Lt. Hawk (Neal McDonough): 1
Lt. Daniels (Michael Horton): 1

[CORPSE BREAKDOWN]

Assault on Earth: 1
-1 dead crewman seen on the Defiant

Attacking the Past: 4

-4 civilians killed by Borg torpedoes

Aftermath: 5

-5 dead Phoenix crewmen seen

Searching the Ship: 10
-Worf shoots 2 Borg drones
-Worf kills 2 more Borg drones
-Daniels shoots 1 Borg drone
-Data shoots 2 Borg drones
-Data kills 2 more Borg drones
-Picard shoots 1 infected crewman

Assimilation: 2

-2 Borg drones shot by crewmen

The Big Goodbye: 2
-2 Borg drones mowed down by Picard with a machine gun

Escape Attempt: 2
-Data kills 2 Borg drones

Deflector Array: 7

-Hawk shoots 1 Borg drone
-Picard shoots 1 Borg drone into open space
-Worf kills 1 Borg drone with a Klingon blade
-Infected Hawk shot by Worf
-Worf blows up deflector array, killing 3 Borg drones

Resistance…Is Futile: 22
-Borg Queen pulled into coolant gas and killed by Data
-6 Borg drones short-circuit when Borg Queen is killed
-At least 15 other corpses of Borg drones killed by Data releasing the coolant gas are seen

[THE UNCONFIRMED AND UNCOUNTED]

10 Federation ships blown up by Borg cube, 1 Borg cube and 1 Borg sphere blown up by Enterprise, which in total adds up to about 10,000 offscreen deaths. Potentially hundreds of Borg drones killed when Data kills the Borg Queen.

[THE FINAL TALLY = 55]

Stupid Weapons and Jade Head Bracelets

Killer Meteors

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]

The Killer Meteors (1976): Breakdown by Kain424

A rich and powerful man seeks the assistance of a powerful warrior to kill his wife and retrieve the antidote for the poison she’s fed him.  But all is not what it seems…

[THE EXECUTION]

After the somewhat lukewarm reception of New Fist Of Fury, director Lo Wei tried to go a different route in making Jackie Chan a star: setting him as a villain against current star Jimmy Wang Yu (of The One-Armed Swordsman films).  The film is ultimately Wang Yu’s vehicle, but Chan does get a couple fight scenes with the legendary Action star and more than holds his own.

You think anyone will remember this movie?

The movie is adapted from the serial novels by Gu Long, though compressed into a two hour time.  As such, it is littered with colorful characters, all of whom have their own unique weapon and fighting style.  With it’s complex and twisting plot, it all comes together to make for a rather interesting and fun experience.  And though Wang Yu is largely just going through the motions here, he remains believable as the movie’s resident bad-ass.

Ching-Kui Chan, the cinematographer from The Big Boss and Fist Of Fury, returns with about as much flair.  The visual style of The Killer Meteors is rather stale, but the editing works well in assisting the characters for their amazing feats.  Everyone can leap dozens of feet into the air or disappear as the angle changes.  All of this, of course, fits the style of the time and if you are a fan of this type of film you may end up enjoying this one.  It’s inclusion of a somewhat diverse cast adds to the fun, making every showdown have that extra bit of impact many fights in the genre seem to be missing.

WTF

For whatever reason, audiences at the time didn’t respond too much to this film.  It’s not great, but it’s not bad either.  Chan himself was not a fan of the film, however, stating in his biography that he wished it had never found its way to release.  I think it’s one of Jackie’s better early films by far, made only more interesting by the fact he plays a baddie.  Watch it and you’ll see what I mean.

[HOW BAD-ASS ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS?]

Jimmy Wang Yu

Jimmy Wang Yu is Mi Wei, The Killer Meteor

Wang Yu starts the movie as a near-mythic Man With No Name-type character.  Villains fear him so much they vow to him, as he sleeps, to give up their violent and evil ways.  Some even cut off their own fingers to make up for their past misdeeds.  It’s all very crazy, but it shows you at the start how much respect this man has earned.  This is all likely a play off of Jimmy Wang Yu’s image, earned over the course of the previous decade and a half, of being the ultimate bad-ass in films like The One-Armed Swordsman series.

Yes. That's The Killer Meteor

The Killer Meteor (which is also the name of his ridiculously awesome weapon) is one of those characters who, in retrospect, is rather uninteresting because he appears to have no true weakness and begins and ends the film as pretty much an unbeatable superhero we can neither relate to nor understand.  Still, he gets laid a couple times, indicating that he is, in fact, a human being after all.

Jackie Chan is a bad guy!

Jackie Chan is Hua Wa-bin, The Immortal

The Immortal is a rich, clever, but ultimately headstrong villain, somewhat typical in the kung fu genre.  He attempts to play the hero and several other characters through the long and convoluted plot, but ends up getting whats coming to him.  Skilled in martial arts, but arrogant, he makes for an interesting near-challenge for our protagonist, but his personality, like his true motivations, go pretty much unknown by the movie’s conclusion.

[THE BODY COUNT: 7]

Jimmy Wang Yu kills 5 of the baddies throughout the film, which is actually fairly violent when it wants to be.  Using his Killer Meteor weapon, Wang Yu causes explosions which either cause tremendous, incinerating deaths, or bloody mangling ones.  Still, there are so many switches and tricks played in the mystery thriller-ish plot, I had a hard time figuring out whether or not to count some deaths.  There is a poison fed to a couple people which seemed to melt them down and deflate them like balloons, but then that character would show up again later.

[MOST SATISFYING ASS-KICKING & DEATH]

The Killer Meteor vs. Lord Fung

Lord Fung fight the Killer Meteor

Lord Fung, a top ranking official and The Killer Meteor’s commanding officer, reveals himself to be a bad guy.  The two begin battling, kicking and punching at one another and showing tremendous skill.  Fung, even at his old age, proves to be quite the match for Mi Wei.

Lord Fung is fucked

But suddenly Wei pulls out the killer meteor, his super weapon, hidden away during the entire film, and unleashes it upon his foe.  Fung is blasted away, blood and chunks of flesh fall away.  His surprise is still evident on his face as he dies quickly and horribly.

[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO]

Despite the occasionally Village People-esque clothing choices of several minor characters, there’s not a lot of gay featured in this one.

[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY]

The woman of The Killer Meteors are often duplicitous, husband-poisoning fiends, full of trickery and lies.  Still, Wang Yu ends the movie apparently running into the arms of one woman, so they can’t be all that bad.

[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER]

Jimmy Wang Yu vs. Jackie Chan

Wang Yu and Chan square off in a colosseum, upright poles are all that provides their footing.  The Immortal thinks he has the upper hand as The Killer Meteor has already fired off his weapon to dispatch Lord Fung.  He locks Mi Wei’s feet to the poles and prepares to launch his final attack.

“You must be real sorry you used up your meteor on Lord Fung!”

But then The Killer Meteor reveals something to his overconfident opponent:

You, Jackie, Are A Dumb-ass

“Yes.  Sorry I didn’t tell you I had two!”

The Killer Meteor fires off his weapon into the air, which proceeds to assume a form more fitting to its name, raining down death upon Jackie.  Just before he’s killed, Chan gives a great “Oh, Shit!” look I find to be particularly priceless:

Not So Immortal

[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]

Don’t fuck with Jimmy Wang Yu, even if you are Jackie Chan.

[THE GIST OF JACKIE: 0 outta 5]

[  ] Breaks Into Someplace Or Escapes By Way Of Acrobatics
[  ] Has An Annoying Tag-Along Companion
[  ] Makes The ‘OW!’ Face And/Or Rubs A Soar Spot
[  ] Performs A Ridiculously Dangerous Stunt
[  ] Uses A Random Object To Defend Himself

[THE CHECKLIST: 10 outta 25]

[X] Athlete(s) Turned “Actor”
[  ] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
[X] Crotch Attack
[X] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is/Are
[  ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
[  ] Factory/Warehouse
[X] Giant Explosion(s)
[X] Heavy Artillery [the "Killer Meteor"]
[  ] Improvised Weapon(s)
[  ] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
[X] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
[X] Manly Embrace(s)
[  ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
[  ] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
[  ] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
[X] Shoot Out(s) and/or Sword Fight(s)
[X] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)/Death(s)
[  ] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
[  ] Substance Usage and/or Abuse
[  ] Tis The Season
[  ] Torture Sequence(s)
[  ] Unnecessary Sequel
[  ] Vehicle Chase(s)
[  ] Vigilante Justice

Pretty Jackie Chan

Jackie In Eyeliner. Yeah, It Happened.

The AOBG Podcast: Episode 0.5 – The Pilot, Part Deux

The AOBG Podcast

Episode 0.5 – The Pilot, Part Deux: CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

The seeds of destruction planted, we reap what we sowed the previous week and learned from some of our mistakes. And found a bunch more… But you know what they say, HBO’s Rome wasn’t filmed in a day. A non-existent weekend for action in the theaters combined with freezing temperatures and the blizzards they bring, Kain and Rant spent most of the week indoors watching hours and hours of Bad-Ass Cinema. And this is what they had to say about it.

SEGMENTS INCLUDE: The Trailer Park and a WHOLELOTTA What The Fuck We’ve Been Watching

Truck Turner killcount

Truck Turner (1974)

Truck Turner (1974)

Starring Isaac Hayes

Watch video:

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Hayes kills 12

Discuss

Truck Turner rights held by American International Pictures.

Jackie Chan: The New Bruce Lee

New Fist Of Fury

[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]

New Fist Of Fury a.k.a. Xin jing wu men (1976): Breakdown by Kain424

Survivors of the first film escape to Taiwan to start a martial arts school, and a young thief helps them give rise to a rebellion against the Japanese.

[THE EXECUTION]

The genre that became known as Bruceploitation had gone into full swing by the time Lo Wei had the brilliant idea to make a direct sequel to one of Lee’s own films.  Jackie Chan, who had attempted to break out in films but ultimately failed, had to be lured back to the business to star.  Lo Wei had seen an early print of The Hand Of Death and was impressed by Chan’s skills.  Partly due to the cheap and fast production on New Fist Of Fury, but also due to the long studio interference and re-editing of The Hand Of Death, this film would end up being released a week before that one.

Bruce Lee could've eaten 101 Eggrolls!

Reprising their roles from the first film are Nora Miao and Han Ying-Chieh.  Miao actually gets more screentime than Jackie Chan, with the narrative mostly following her and her plight to return the Ching Wu school to its former glory.  The location has changed to Taiwan, but as it is also under the rule of the vile Japanese the plot mostly continues in the same vein this time around.  Miao is a surprisingly charismatic lead, but is stuck in an impressively limited role.  Still she does what she can and actually comes out looking probably better than anyone else in the cast, save for Jackie Chan.

Jackie Chan's Fists Of Fury aren't quite as fast...

Returning to films, Chan is a convincing actor even in limited roles like this one.  The movie itself leaves him little to no room to breathe up until near the very end.  But Jackie gives an intense performance, portraying his character not as a superhuman like Lee, but a regular man who learns his skills and uses them to rise up against his oppressors.  His fight scenes are not the greatest ever put to film, but he more than holds his own.  Later in his career, Jackie would attempt to emphasize his difference in style to Lee, but it’s clear he was attempting the same thing as early as this film.

You Remind Me Of Sammo For Some Reason...

That being said, the actual moments of combat are few and far between.  The fight scenes featuring actually skilled opponents only occur at the tail end of the film.  This means pretty much the entire movie drags, only picking up when Chan realizes he must learn kung fu to save the poor people living under the heel of the cruel foreign soldiers.  There is a series of battles towards the close of the picture that, while not on par with the bad-ass ones of the movie’s predecessor, are very well choreographed.  And even after that, immediately following the film’s high of sandwiched fight scenes and brutal killings, the movie is ended in a surprisingly abrupt and unsatisfying fashion.  It really has to be seen to be believed.

The cinematography isn’t bad here, and one wonders why so many of Lo Wei’s other films look so boring.  The zooms are kept to a minimum and the camera moves through hallways and around rooms fluidly, marking a change in style from the first film that is both welcome and interesting.  All of this is accompanied by a repetitive but fitting soundtrack that emphasizes heroic and horrific moments.  The only times it comes across as inappropriate are during Chan’s Fist Of Fury moment (where it sounds like something out of a sci-fi flick) and at the abrupt ending, where it seems a bit too cheery for what we’ve just witnessed.

Sorry Jackie, It Looks Like Surrounding Them Won't Work

Audiences at the time of New Fist Of Fury’s release were mostly unimpressed.  It was seen as yet another tiresome Bruceploitation flick.  And to be fair, there is a bit of that going on here.  Notably, the first half hour pretty much revolves around the surviving cast members from Fist Of Fury carrying around Bruce Lee’s nunchukus like they’re some sort of holy relic, and Jackie Chan stealing them.  I know it’s meant to be some sort of “passing the torch” kind of thing, but it’s quite a stretch. The plot would have been better served without that nonsense, and the film’s running time (currently clocking in at nearly two hours) might’ve been saved as well.

Perhaps ironically, it would be Jackie Chan’s later success that pretty much marked an end to the genre.  So this film is interesting if only for its mark in Jackie Chan’s career.  As he continued to work for Lo Wei, he was given more opportunities to choreograph his own fights, and even work with more talented directors.  Unfortunately, this film was not one of those.  As a sequel to the Bruce Lee movie Fist Of Fury, it fails on several levels.  But it’s worth watching at least once.

[HOW BAD-ASS ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS?]

Jackie Chan - A Lung

Jackie Chan is Ah Lung

Chan plays Lung as a naive pickpocket/no-good who possesses the ability to become a great kung fu fighter, but would rather not get involved.  Only after being nearly beaten to death, seeing multiple examples of the injustices incurred upon his fellow citizens, and the courage of Nora Miao and her crew, does he finally come around.  A nicely done montage and some ancient secrets later, and Jackie’s pretty much ready to kick some ass.  He’s not the best, but what’s important is that he stands up and fights as if he was.  So yeah, he’s quite bad-ass.

Nora Miao in Teeth Of Fury!

Nora Miao is Yuan Le-erh

No longer just a student, and certainly not a love interest, Miao shows up as something of a kung fu master in her own right.  She gets to kick ass quite a bit, but leaves most of the footwork to her students and friends.  Still Nora maintains a commanding presence here, and it’s easy to see why the others follow her and why Jackie Chan would fight for her.

[THE BODY COUNT: 37+]

There are a lot of kills in this one, with most of them scored by the bad guys.  The Japanese ambush and shoot around 20 people, while the main villain and his students kill several more.  Jackie Chan kills at least 3, but like the film’s antagonist, there are more beaten and possibly killed as well.  After Chan learns the Fist Of Fury, he may or may not be able to strike lethal blows at a whim.  As it is a kung fu flick, a lot of the deaths are from hand-to-hand combat, but other than the ones that get shot to death, there are also several that die from the slashing of samurai swords.  New Fist Of Fury is quite violent, with almost everyone dying with sprays of blood from their wounds or mouths.

[MOST SATISFYING ASS-KICKING & DEATH]

The final boss battle is rather brilliant.  Not in the sense that the choreography is stunning (though it is pretty good), but because of its utilization of multiple weapons in a small space.  Jackie Chan kills the Japanese karate master’s daughter, which sparks the fight.  They go hand to hand, with the villain clawing at Jackie’s face and shredding his clothes (apparently his nails are very sharp).  From there it goes to a battle between sais and a three sectional rattan staff.  After returning to hand-to-hand, Jackie is knocked down some stairs where he defeats several more guys waiting in ambush with samurai swords.

But as Jackie lays on the ground, the film’s antagonist attempts to land a killing blow with one of his fallen comrade’s weapons.  Chan quickly grabs a sword with his feet (!) and impales the baddie, who falls back to his death.  That was awesome.

[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO]

Jackie takes his shirt off quite a bit and seems like he couldn’t care less about the opposite sex, but that doesn’t necessarily make him gay.  The villain, however, hangs out in bath houses wearing nothing but a loincloth.  Still, the guy’s got a daughter, which proves he’s had sex with a woman at least once.

[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY]

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

Continuing in the footsteps of the first movie, New Fist Of Fury has several strong female characters, two of which are martial arts masters in their own right.  Nora Miao, as I’ve mentioned previously, and also the lead bad guy’s daughter, who ends up being the sub-boss for the film.  With her crazy powerful legs and physics-defying leaping powers, she’s more than a worthy opponent.

Naturally, there’s a flipside to all of this.  Jackie Chan’s character’s mother is a whore.  Literally.  She remains loyal to her son and ex-husband, even warning the Ching Wu school of the approach of soldiers and paying for Jackie’s medical bills after he is beaten within an inch of his life and left in a ditch on the side of the road.  But she’s still a whore who sleeps not only with the evil Japanese, but it is insinuated that she lays with the main baddie as well.

[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER]

With the Ching Wu’s school sign (and symbol of their individuality) destroyed and the locals left afraid and angry, it’s up to Jackie Chan to rouse the people to a fervor and partake in an uprising. After an impassioned speech, he has the sign remade.  Then he writes a symbol of his dedication on his bare chest in his own blood, hoists the new sign upon his shoulders like it was Jesus’s cross, and heads to the Ching Wu schoolgrounds finally ready to take his place in life and learn kung fu.  Nora Miao sees flashes of Bruce Lee, telling us she sees in Chan a new hero.

Jesus Chan

In an otherwise rather dull film, it’s a great scene and totally worth the price paid to see it.  At the time of the film’s release, it was seen as just another ploy to market off of the late superstar’s name, but in light of Jackie Chan’s further success in the genre I think it takes on another shape entirely.  Note the following dialog, which takes place between Nora and Jackie directly after this scene:

Miao: “Within you, I’ve found something.”

Chan: “Found something… in me?”

Miao: “The true spirit and meaning of the Ching Wu school.”

Chan then thanks Miao and attempts to kneel before her, but she presses him to stand up.  She then explains to everyone standing in awe at them that Jackie “is just like” Bruce Lee.

Still, Jackie Looks Slightly Chagrined

Miao: “His drive, his spirit.  So much like him.”  Then, to the late Lee she says: “Brother, you can rest in peace.  The school can carry on.  When there’s men like you, Ching Wu will live on!”

Leaving aside the fact that Lee’s character in the first film could probably care less about the school itself, this can only be seen as a metaphor.  In fact, his reckless Actions were the cause of the school’s destruction in the first place.  It’s clear the film makers weren’t talking about about the Ching Wu school, but rather the Hong Kong film industry and in particular the Kung Fu genre.  They weren’t placing Bruce Lee’s many imitators in high regard either.  No, they were almost outright announcing Jackie Chan’s arrival as the next Bruce Lee and true heir to his place as it’s most important star.  Seeing as how Chan would eventually become practically the biggest star in China, this speech actually kinda gives me chills.

So while the film ends up a lackluster drag, this moment is one of the most significant in all of Hong Kong cinema.  It’s certainly significant to Chan’s career.

[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]

Rising to the challenge of your rivals, accepting your place with destiny, and learning all kinds of awesome kung fu skills won’t stop you from dying when you get shot in the face.

Shot Through The Heart, Bruce Lee's To Blame!

[THE GIST OF JACKIE: 1 outta 5]

[  ] Breaks Into Someplace Or Escapes By Way Of Acrobatics
[  ] Has An Annoying Tag-Along Companion
[X] Makes The ‘OW!’ Face And/Or Rubs A Soar Spot
[  ] Performs A Ridiculously Dangerous Stunt
[  ] Uses A Random Object To Defend Himself

[THE CHECKLIST: 11 outta 25]

[X] Athlete(s) Turned “Actor”
[  ] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
[X] Crotch Attack
[X] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is/Are
[  ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
[  ] Factory/Warehouse
[  ] Giant Explosion(s)
[  ] Heavy Artillery
[  ] Improvised Weapon(s)
[  ] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
[  ] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
[  ] Manly Embrace(s)
[  ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
[X] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
[X] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
[X] Shoot Out(s) and/or Sword Fight(s)
[X] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)/Death(s)
[X] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
[  ] Substance Usage and/or Abuse
[  ] Tis The Season
[  ] Torture Sequence(s)
[X] Unnecessary Sequel [a semi-remake called Fist Of Fury II]
[  ] Vehicle Chase(s)
[X] Vigilante Justice

Jackie Chan Is Stunned!

Oh come on!  This should’ve made me a star!