THE AOBG MISSION STATEMENT
1. To Provide An Outlet For Fans Of Bad-Ass Entertainment Everywhere.
2. To Provide A Guide To The Films Of Bad-Ass Cinema For New And Old Fans Alike
3. To Provide Accurate Kill Counts For Action Films And Action Hero Actors
4. To Study The Cultural And Sociological Impact Of Bad-Ass Cinema, And Discus It At Length
5. To Crush Our Enemies, See Them Driven Before Us, And To Hear The Lamentation Of Their Women.
You May Contact Us At:
And/Or Feel Free To Private Message Us On:
ALIAS: Kain, alias KAIN424
WEIGHT: 165-185 lbs.
EDUCATION: Some College
HOBBY: This Website
WEAPON: Any Plasma Rifle in the 40-watt range
Brenton is the co-founder, editor and resident Killcounter in Chief of AllOuttaBubbleGum. He even finds time to occasionally write articles and reviews. Though the frequency of his output is questionable, it comes with an explanation: Brenton is extremely lazy and his apathy toward everything not related to looking good for purposes of copulating, is world renowned. The only other exception being BadAss Cinema, thus his studious work in providing accurate and fan-servicing kill montages that borderline psychotic fetishism.
Born in the year of Orwell’s dystopia and mere months after mankind’s savior, Kain’s past defies Big Brother and mimics John Conner. An enigmatic man, little is known of this hero before the millennium, and the details revealed since are sketchy and border on urban legend. What is known for certain is his ingrained disdain for authority, religion, consumers and feminine hygiene commercials. All else, myth or fact, have yet to be confirmed.
ALIAS: Rant, alias RANTBO
WEIGHT: He’s workin’ on it, give him a break… off of that Kit-Kat Bar.
PROFESSION: Shit fucker uper and part-time clerk
EDUCATION: He hated teaching
HOBBY: Procuring and discussing nerdy badass shit
WEAPON: You’re looking at ‘em
Ty is the 2nd co-founder of AOBG and is the most consistent, most prolific and self described ‘most talented’ writer of the borderline acceptable dribble featured on this cheap-ass website you are currently viewing. Or so he was until his computer broke-down and his apathy toward fixing it overpowered his drive to appease his legion of fans…
Born in the year of the Jedi, it was under the reign of Reagan, Music Television and Beefcake Action Icons that Ty’s passionate desire to earn legal tender with his keen, virginy and overbearing knowledge of popular culture was born. Starting out on the bottom wrung of his metaphorical ladder of personal success, Ty got a job clerking in a video store a month after graduating high school. And he has since failed to climb any further… Pathetic and sad though this is, he has taken a step in the right direction by using his freetime teaching himself to write by piecing together the remnants of his failed education to review movies that nobody has cared about since 1989.
Despite being 10 years our Jr., Rutledal seems to know more about BadAss Cinema, American and foreign alike than either of us founders. We’d be jealous, but in being from Norway and not the States, he has obviously received a superior education and also lacks an ingrained compulsion to piss away all his money and efforts obtaining pointless shit. Needless to say, he has more free time to contemplate his interests and non-consumerist hobbies. So, we tolerate his young talent and efforts spent with us, as by the time he is our age, he will have no doubt moved on to far more successful endeavors and might be in a position to offer us jobs that pay more than 15 grand a year.