Posted on May 31st, 2009 by Rant
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Die Hard (1988): Breakdown by Rantbo
New York City Cop kills former terrorists, pretending to be current terrorists, but are really now exceptional thieves. Explosions and one-liners commence.
[THE EXECUTION]
“Welcome to the party, pal!”
A hard boiled, take-no-shit New York City cop flies out to the magical land of limp-wristed men and movie stars to hopefully make [...]
Filed under: Recent Reviews
Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Rant
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Navy SEALs (1990): Breakdown by Rantbo
Team of elite Air, Land and Semen kill terrorists. Are gay.
[THE EXECUTION]
This film was made for one reason and one reason only. To make some TOP GUN money. No clue if it succeeded financially (I highly doubt it), but the film definitely failed to touch the hearts and minds [...]
Filed under: Recent Reviews
Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Rant
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Never Back Down (2008): Breakdown by Rantbo
Two shirtless boy-whores reenact KARATE KID with modern day MMA fighting moves. ‘Cuz karate didn’t get them sweaty enough.
[THE EXECUTION]
Contrary to what the title may have you believe, this movie isn’t about an escalating series of frat-house dares. “OK, dude–Bobby’s passed out, I dare you to stick [...]
Filed under: Recent Reviews
Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Kain424
Brandon Lee becomes an Action star… of the B-grade type.
Filed under: Recent Reviews
Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Kain424
Laser Mission killcount.
Filed under: Recent Killcounts
Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Kain424
Brandon Lee’s killcounts.
Filed under: Recent Killcounts
Posted on May 28th, 2009 by Kain424
Army of One (Joshua Tree) killcount.
Filed under: Recent Killcounts
Posted on May 28th, 2009 by Kain424
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Joshua Tree a.k.a. Army of One (1993): Breakdown by Kain424
An ex-racecar driver, truck driver, and now current convict escapes after nine months in prison to prove his innocence and get revenge against those who framed him. He also feels they owe him money.
[THE EXECUTION]
This is easily among the best of Dolph Lundgren’s considerable [...]
Filed under: Recent Reviews
Posted on May 27th, 2009 by Rant
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Action Jackson (1988): Breakdown by Rantbo
Big chocolate cop tolerates druggie slut, kills some glam-metal ninjas with fire and fights Craig T. Nelson.
[THE EXECUTION]
When making a film with the basic “Super-Cop-Kills-Bad-Guy” scenario, the devil becomes all about the details, as this movie has been made at least a dozen times a year since 1971. So, [...]
Filed under: Recent Reviews
Posted on May 25th, 2009 by Rant
[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]
Lone Wolf McQuade (1983): Breakdown by Rantbo
Texas Ranger drinks beer, kills filthy Mexicans and fights Caine from KUNG FU.
[THE EXECUTION]
If you see only one Chuck Norris film, see INVASION U.S.A.. If you see two, make sure the second one is THE HITMAN or I guess, LONE WOLF McQUADE. Which ever one your [...]
Filed under: Recent Reviews