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 Post subject: Post Your Lists and Countdowns!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:21 pm 
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Lists are the best way I can think of to argue a point. So here's the thread where I'll post them! And yes, the whole point of this is nitpicking.

My problems with the pencil scene in The Dark Knight:
1. Why did criminals bring a pencil to a secret meeting where anything recorded would provide solid evidence against them in court should they have gotten caught?
2. How did The Joker take down a guy much bigger, tougher, and probably more experienced at fighting than him?
3. How did The Joker stand the pencil up by the point? It wouldn't balance, and shoving it in the table would break the lead.
4. Assuming it was a reinforced pencil, how did the Joker know that?
5. Did the Joker assume that someone would walk near him and be weaker than him when he started his trick?
6. Why did no one react beyond listening to what the Joker- who just killed one of their men- had to say?
7. How does an eraser go through a guy's skull?
8. I've heard the pencil hit him in the eye. If so, how does a blunt eraser to the eye penetrate deap enough to damage the brain?
9. How much could an eraser really damage a brain anyway?
10. You can clearly make out Ledger's shoulder moving when he grabs the guy, so you basically see him knock the pencil off the table.
11. There was no blood on the table despite there being a head with a pencil in the eye on it a second ago.
12. Why did the guard even let the Joker in? He doesn't exactly look reputable... Also he didn't check him his DOZENS OF GRENADES.
13. I get the gangsters are scared of Batman, but is having a meeting in broad daylight in a public building really that much safer for them than risking being punched and growled at?

Things Cliffhanger stole from Die Hard
1. Trapped on a mountain instead of a skyscraper.
2. Shoot a guy from under the ice instead of under the table.
3. Jump away from a helicopter crashing into the mountain/ building.
4. Stab a guy with an icicle handing from the ceiling (an icicle stab happens in Die Hard 2) instead of hanging them from a chain from the ceiling.
5. Caves instead of vents.

Reasons Anne Hathaway shouldn't be Catwoman
1. She was in The Princess Diaries.
2. She has large, non-threatening eyes, as opposed to Michelle Pfiefer, who has smaller, more threatening eyes.
3. It's a Black Swan thing- Catwoman needs to be sexy and threatening. Hathaway can only pull off the former.
4. Hathaway was only cast because Chris Nolan saw her naked in Love and Other Drugs (I assume).
5. Hathaway has Keanu Reeves Syndrome (a made-up medical condtion in which you appear to never age), so she still looks like when she was a teenager.
6. Hathaway has a wide mouth that, despite how hot her body is, is really, really distracting when she talks.
7. Hathaway has never, ever played a badass EVER.
8. The only experience Hathaway has with Batman is impersonating Katie Holmes on SNL.
9. Hathaway is best known for romantic comedies, not action or even drama.
10. Hathaway was in The Princess Diaries 2.

Franchises that have been butchered by Stephen Sommers (in progress)
1. G.I.:Joe
2. The Mummy
3. Dracula
4. Frankenstein
5. The Wolfman

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"I liked the veiled pseudo-homosexual threat of Rutger Hauer in [The Hitcher]." -Kain


Last edited by MrThePandaman on Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:31 pm 
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Quote:
1. Why did criminals bring a pencil to a secret meeting where anything recorded would provide solid evidence against them in court should they have gotten caught?

Well, they were at a conference and criminal or not, someone should be taking notes.
Quote:
2. How did The Joker take down a guy much bigger, tougher, and probably more experienced at fighting than him

LOL! Because Hollywood loves having non-physical actors take down people obviously stronger than them. It's been a routine for years in this industry, it's just that it's been getting much more noticeable due to even more nonbelievable casting.
Quote:
3. How did The Joker stand the pencil up by the point? It wouldn't balance, and shoving it in the table would break the lead.
4. Assuming it was a reinforced pencil, how did the Joker know that?
5. Did the Joker assume that someone would walk near him and be weaker than him when he started his trick?
6. Why did no one react beyond listening to what the Joker- who just killed one of their men- had to say?
7. How does an eraser go through a guy's skull?
8. I've heard the pencil hit him in the eye. If so, how does a blunt eraser to the eye penetrate deap enough to damage the brain?
9. How much could an eraser really damage a brain anyway?
10. You can clearly make out Ledger's shoulder moving when he grabs the guy, so you basically see him knock the pencil off the table.
11. There was no blood on the table despite there being a head with a pencil in the eye on it a second ago.

Umm . . . . It's a movie.
Quote:
12. Why did the guard even let the Joker in? He doesn't exactly look reputable... Also he didn't check him his DOZENS OF GRENADES.

Well, I guess his purple outfit looked ganster-ish so hmmmm.
Quote:
but is having a meeting in broad daylight in a public building really that much safer for them than risking being punched and growled at?

Batman only comes out at night and I recall that being in a safehouse or something (haven't seen this flick in awhile). Either way, Nolan as talented as he is has yet to master complete storytelling.

Either way, these are some good lists and most of the Cliffhanger moments ripped from Die Hard make sense not only because every Action movie wanted to outdo or copy that formula but because Renny Harlin also directed Die Hard 2.

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"If you are healthy, if you’re in a joyful state yourself, then all of life is funny. Taking the irony of what our final fate is from the very beginning — when you are born you become aware you’re going to die — that awareness is itself absurd, so that given the right attitude, all of life can be humorous. It’s something to aim for. I try to remember the state of bliss that life is even at its hardest, at its most difficult."- William Shatner


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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:08 pm 
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ArnoldVoslooT800 wrote:
Umm . . . . It's a movie.


A pretty cool one at that. I just don't like the scene that everyone else seems to love.

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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:19 pm 
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Why The X-Men franchise is stupid
1. Wolverine's claws look less and less realistic as the movies progress.
2. If Wolverine's claws can cut through anything, but characters like Rockslide and especially Colossus are indestrictible, what would happen if Wolverine tried to cut them?
3. An old man who reads minds runs a school... that gives him every opportunity to creep.
4. What would happen if Nightcrawler teleported partially or totally inside something else?
5. Or someONE else?
6. How do Cyclops's glasses almost never come loose? What if he slept without them and his eyelids fell open?
7. How does Shadowcat not fall through the ground?
8. How does Rogue go so long without touching people skin to skin? I get the gloves, but how have so few people brushed up against her arm or something?
9. Prodigy also has many opportunities to creep with his knowledge- absorbing powers.
10. Wolverine's claw power is basically the same as having two really sharp knives...
11. How on Earth could Havoc or Cannonball use their powers to make a situation better? Their power is to explode...
12. Why do Pyro and Sunfire both need to exist?
13. Why do Wolverine's enemies (Deadpool, Lady Deathstrike, Sabertooth, X-23) all have to have the same or similar powers to him?
14. Magneto's helmet looks silly.
15. Magneto can be stopped by rubber casing.
16. How does Deadpool get his own series and not Phantomex?
17. The Stephord Cucocks's powers are basically about as useful as having the rest of the team already be smart... which they are... and telepathic... which some of them are.
18. Yellow does not look good on anyone, including Wolverine.

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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:43 pm 
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LOL, these are great. Keep 'em coming, man.

As for Cliffhanger, you could basically make a list of things every 90s action movie stole from Die Hard. Just about every movie from the 90s is a ripoff of it. Cliffhanger, Speed, Executive Decision, Air Force One, Under Siege, Under Siege 2, Die Hard 2 for that matter, then there was that one with Van Damme at a hockey game or something...


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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:51 am 
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Quote:
I just don't like the scene that everyone else seems to love.

I also don't care for most of the Joker's scenes since besides the opening and closing, he doesn't do much except kill people and I consider those to be the equivalent of the T-1000's kills in T2: Judgment Day: unneeded and could easily be shortened if so.

Quote:
Just about every movie from the 90s is a ripoff of it. Cliffhanger, Speed, Executive Decision, Air Force One, Under Siege, Under Siege 2, Die Hard 2 for that matter, then there was that one with Van Damme at a hockey game or something..

The hockey one was Sudden Death and also don't forget the terrible 12 Rounds as another knock-off.

And if they're not ripping off Die Hard, they're making a serious/more idiotic version of Commando. These imitations include: The Marine, True Vengeance, Taken, Belly of the Beast, even Live Free or Die Hard.

The premise: Man's daughter gets kidnapped and kills all the bad guys.
Quote:
Magneto's helmet looks silly.
15. Magneto can be stopped by rubber casing.

Because it's not made out of any sort of metal and his helmet doesn't look too bad compared to that recent picture of FIRST CLASS: Image
Quote:
Why do Wolverine's enemies (Deadpool, Lady Deathstrike, Sabertooth, X-23) all have to have the same or similar powers to him?

Because they're part of the same secret Weapon X-periment & apparently the scientists were lacking a clear imagination.
Quote:
Yellow does not look good on anyone, including Wolverine.

Which is why they ditched those lame costumes for the movies . . .
Quote:
. Wolverine's claw power is basically the same as having two really sharp knives...

More like carrying three very sharp knifes in each hand. Plus, they're indestructible knifes . . .
Quote:
How do Cyclops's glasses almost never come loose? What if he slept without them and his eyelids fell open

:lol: I always wondered that. What if someone randomly yelled at him "Hey Look" and he blinked?

Either way, I never really cared for him in any of the cartoons/comics/games/movies. I didn't hate him but didn't care if he died (which he did in the third movie).
Quote:
What would happen if Nightcrawler teleported partially or totally inside something else?
5. Or someONE else?

LOL, they would probably implode so then the question would be, would his body be attached to that person or some other weird distorted shit?

Another question about Kurt Wagner is how come in the movies he never says "Hi, Mom, where you've been all my life?" to Mystique? They for some reason decided to not open up that rumored subplot for the movies.

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"If you are healthy, if you’re in a joyful state yourself, then all of life is funny. Taking the irony of what our final fate is from the very beginning — when you are born you become aware you’re going to die — that awareness is itself absurd, so that given the right attitude, all of life can be humorous. It’s something to aim for. I try to remember the state of bliss that life is even at its hardest, at its most difficult."- William Shatner


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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:36 am 
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ArnoldVoslooT800 wrote:
More like carrying three very sharp knifes in each hand. Plus, they're indestructible knifes . . .


Yeah, three knives all perpetually pointing in the same direction so you can only stab one thing which each hand anyway. Also they make your skin tear and bleed (though his admittedly cool regeneration thing handles that). And how sharp does a knife have to be to kill someone? People get stabbed to death with forks in movies! The only time the adamantium claws have ever done more than regular knives was when he broke the locks in Origins (which he could've done with a lockpick or gun).

Although, in all honesty, I totally want metal wrist claws.

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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:40 am 
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Dude, the claws are so bad-ass, how can you question them?

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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:42 am 
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I cannot.

ALL PRAISE BE TO THE CLAWS

Image

PS: If Hugh Jackman earns a page, that should totally be his photo.

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 Post subject: Re: Pandaman's lists.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:01 am 
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Reasons why Superman is a dumb character (unlike most of these lists, I really think this):
1. He survived-- as an infant, mind you-- on a planet made up of his instantly lethal weakness.
2. He did so without Earth's yellow Sun to give him superpowers.
3. His disguise is glasses.
4. Superman is on the news all the time... that is being reported on by Clark Kent. People see him right next to his alter ego EVERY DAY and no one makes the connection.
5. A phone booth? Really?
6. His 'S', according to Superman II, is made of cellophane and can be removed. Anyone wanna tell me why?
7. He, when not around his home planet's remains or magic, is completly indestructible, removing all tension and relatability.
8. He doesn't use laser vision often enough.
9. The millions of physics problems and logical holes when he turned back time by spinning the Earth backwards.
10. In the very first issue he held a witness against their will and forced them to come forward in court, both of which are illegal.
11. According to the comics, Hitler and Stalin weren't stopped by global retaliation and triumphant ideas, but Superman. Also Captain America, but that is a topic for another day.
12. He wears his underwear on the outside of his pants, yet inside his alter ego's underwear which is inside of his pants. Woah.
13. What did his parents have to gain by sending him away in a spiky ball? how could they have known he would survive the explosion and land on a safe planet populated by people who look exatcly like him?
14. Why weren't there more of those spiky balls on the planet?
15. Superman III.
16. Superman IV: the Quest for Peace.
17. Superman Returns.
18. Zack Snyder.

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